OUR ROLE WHEN PROVIDING ADVICE.
BismilLah.
As human beings, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes especially against ALLAH and to others. This advice is first of all to myself then to you the reader. I fell guilty when preparing this reminder but in Islam we must speak the truth even if it is against ourselves hoping that through that ALLAH can guide us from our errors and mistakes in life.
When correcting others, let's choose words that aim to “advise” rather than condemn, demean, or punish the other.
Avoid correcting the other person when your emotions are running high. If your intent is to see longer term behavior change in the other person without hurting your relationship, save the advice for future when you are more in control of your emotions. Angrily advising someone is bound to push the other to erect barriers rather than staying open to listen to the advice.
Even when you know that the other person is at fault, it is important to maintain humility. Consider this true story which is an important reminder: The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “There were two men from Banoo Israa’eel, one of them committed sins and the other strove hard in worship. And the one who strove in worship continued to see the other sinner and kept saying to him: ‘Desist’. So one day, he found him committing a sin and said to him: ‘Desist’. He replied: “Leave me to my Lord; have you been sent as a watcher over me?” He said: “By ALLAH, ALLAH will not forgive you, nor will ALLAH admit you to Paradise.” when both died both were gathered and ALLAH said to the one who strove in worship: “Did you have knowledge of ME, or did you have any power over what was in MY Hands?” And HE said to the sinner: “Go and enter Paradise through MY Mercy.” And HE said to the other: “Take him to the Fire.” Abu Hurairah said: “By HIM in Whose Hand is my soul! the good worshiper spoke a word which destroyed this world and the Hereafter for him.” (Saheeh – reported by Abu Hurairah and collected in Aboo Daawood (Eng. trans. vol.3 p.1365 no.4883).
Let’s remember that in the Quran, ALLAH the Beneficent regards Muslims as helpers, supporters, friends, and protectors of each other: “The believers, men and women, are Auliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another
(Quran: 9:71). Our duty, therefore, is to be genuinely concerned about each other so that we can contribute to making life pleasant in this life and to help ourselves and others to prepare for the life in the Hereafter. And to reach that end, we need to be vigilant in ensuring that Islamic teachings are implemented and followed correctly. This necessitates giving and taking correct advice and constructive criticism wherever required.
May ALLAH keep guiding us all and protect us and our offspring from all illnesses. Aameen.