Gentleness Beautifies
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Gentleness beautifies everything. Harshness disfigures.” [Muslim]
There was once a very pious woman who didn’t like to have any pictures in the house because angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture. She had a young daughter who had toys but not a doll, since it would be an imitation of an animate object, like a picture. One day the girl’s maternal aunt gave her a doll and said, “Play with it in your room but don’t let your mother see it.”
After a couple of days the mother found out, so she decided to give advice in an appropriate manner. When they sat at the dinner table the mother said, “Dear children, for a couple of days I feel that there have been no angels in the house. If anybody has any ideas why this could have happened please let me know. There is neither might nor power except with Allah!”
The young girl listened quietly. After dinner she returned to her room to notice the doll amongst her many toys. She picked up the doll and brought it to her mother and said, “Mum! This is what caused the angels to leave. You may do with it as you please!”
How wonderful is this approach in correcting people’s wrongs and giving advice, being gentle and not striking with thunderbolts!
Allow the one being advised to retain his/her honour. It is possible to drink honey without destroying the honeycomb.
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Gentleness beautifies everything. Harshness disfigures.” [Muslim]
There was once a very pious woman who didn’t like to have any pictures in the house because angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture. She had a young daughter who had toys but not a doll, since it would be an imitation of an animate object, like a picture. One day the girl’s maternal aunt gave her a doll and said, “Play with it in your room but don’t let your mother see it.”
After a couple of days the mother found out, so she decided to give advice in an appropriate manner. When they sat at the dinner table the mother said, “Dear children, for a couple of days I feel that there have been no angels in the house. If anybody has any ideas why this could have happened please let me know. There is neither might nor power except with Allah!”
The young girl listened quietly. After dinner she returned to her room to notice the doll amongst her many toys. She picked up the doll and brought it to her mother and said, “Mum! This is what caused the angels to leave. You may do with it as you please!”
How wonderful is this approach in correcting people’s wrongs and giving advice, being gentle and not striking with thunderbolts!
Allow the one being advised to retain his/her honour. It is possible to drink honey without destroying the honeycomb.