KAFA'AH (COMPATIBILITY)
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Marrying someone out of pity is very dangerous. It's risky accepting someone in the name of 'managing' him or her. Marry with full conviction. Many are people who accepts a suitor just because he was introduced to them by an uncle, a neighbour, a family or a friend whom she doesn't want to displease? If you are not pleased with the suitor himself, don't hesitate to turn him down and walk away irrespective of the connector between you both. The verse says: 'Marry women of your CHOICE', you are the one that will wear the shoes and not the connector.
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When a whole Umar R.A suggested his daughter Hafsah to his friend Uthman, Uthman R.A turned down the request few days later because he wasn't in need of women at that time, he didn't discomfort himself to marry Hafsah just to make Umar R.A happy. When Abubakar Siddiq R.A and Umar R.A sought for Fatimah R.A hand's in marriage, The Prophet SwalaLLahu Aleihi Wasallam turned them down, didn't they have Deen and Ahlaq? But when Ali R.A sought for her hand, the Prophet SwalaLLahu Aleihi Wasallam married her to him. Proposal is a matter of choice and not a journey of no return. Love and compatibility is very important between two intending spouses, look well before giving a YES. Don't accept the person out of pity, because if the love is *one* *sided* and the compatibility is missing, the marriage will most likely fail sooner or later.
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The reason why Zaid ibn Haritha kept complaining about Zainab bint Jahsh was because of incompatibility issues until they separated.
The reason why Bareerah walked out of her marriage with Mugeeth when given the choice was because of Incompatibility issues. All the tears that Mugeeth shed all over Madeenah could not make Bareerah return back to him.
The reason why Jameelah bint Ubay sought for divorce from Thaabit ibn Qays was also because of incompatibility issues. The huge dowry he gave her did not still make her stay with him forever.
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So when two spouses are incompatible, no matter the amount spent in the wedding or dowry, no matter how much they endure each other or pretend to love each other, one day the cup will be full and they would both exhaust their endurance limit, then they would have no option than to break up in peace or in pieces. Learn from the stories of those who came before you, before you become a story for those who will come after you.
*MAY ALLAH BLESS OUR HOMES*🤲🏾🤲🏾